ASBO

Bingley’s tum settled down nicely after his long fast, but now it’s my turn to have the runs – though in this case it’s my nose which is doing the running. It’s been years since I've had such a rotten cold and I blame Bingley and all those damp early morning walks! The saddest thing is that Bing has suddenly become very twitchy, so every time I sneeze I make him jump: I’ve had to start giving him a warning as soon as I feel my nose start to tickle. On walks, I’ve been making him sit before I blow my nose – so at least we’re getting some training done as a consequence! Dogs are meant to be sympathetic creatures, but Bingley hasn’t shown the slightest concern about my miserable self-pitying condition. Instead, at every opportunity it’s Bugsy McTugsy to the helm and off we go – handkerchief flapping behind me!

Have I mentioned that he’s started chewing? Actually chewing doesn’t do it justice, as some of the lab owners amongst you will know. I reckon that we could loan Bingley to a building contactor as the all-purpose shredder. When I posted the photos of Bing’s dog house not one person pointed out the crucial weakness…..it’s almost entirely clad with wood. I’ve done a fair bit of DIY and used some pretty specialist equipment in my time, but I’ve never seen anything quite like Bingley’s jaws when it comes to shredding anything made of wood. Nothing seems to deter him. I’ve tried smearing chilli paste on the skirting board: he loved it! Mustard? Gimme more, he seemed to say.

And it isn’t just wood. Whilst I was having my lunch today I left the back door open to give him chance to go outside and toilet. I should have known that it was too quiet, but I’m groggy and not quite myself. When I finally went in to give Bingley his lunch it was like walking onto the set of Gardeners Question Time: here we have some fine examples of buddleia cuttings; and some very healthy looking branches from a red current bush as well. Oh, and look – some rambling rose in the corner. Bingley was just sitting there in the middle of this horticultural devastation with an I don’t know how that happened look on his face.

So, it’s the lock-up for this little lad and I’ve just spent the past hour looking into dog crates on eBay. Having done quite a bit of research into this, I’m pretty sure that he’ll actually enjoy having his own space – but once again that’ll have to wait for another post…